Should You Put A Ring On It If You Only Like It?

Dear Caesar,

My girl and I have been dating for four years. Now, before you start tripping, we started dating as juniors in college and we are just trying to get our careers off the ground. Now that we are both settled with work, living separately, and practically spending all of our free time together, she hit me with “isn’t it about time we get married?” I mean I love this girl but, is the fact that we have been together for four years a good enough reason to get married?

Sincerely,

Mr. Should I Put A Ring On It

Dear Mr. Should I Put A Ring on It,

First of all I love the signature; very apropos to my response. I will use your signature to provide the simple answer to your question. Absolutely Not! If you simply like it, there is no way that you should put a ring on it, regardless of how long you have been together or what other external variables might force you into making the wrong decision on such a serious matter.

The unfortunate part about your situation is that there are some people, particularly women as it relates to relationships, who allow mainstream media to dictate their thought process. They hear a half truth, get around others who have experienced this common thread, and then they hold all men to this ridiculous standard of how we should respond to their new found revelation. 

The Bottom line is marriage is work; it can be extremely fulfilling, but only when both people are committed to putting in the work. If there is any doubt in your mind about whether or not you should “pop the question” then you shouldn’t do it. When making the decision to get married it should be a decision that you are comfortable with. You should be able to answer yes, unequivocally, when asked the question “You sure you’re ready?” You should be able to stare your woman in the face and tell her everything that she has, is, and will continue to mean in your life when you propose. You should be able to look at that special woman and know that, regardless of the circumstances, she will be able to “Stand the Rain” and that you would be willing to do whatever you need to do to make that rain stop. 

Ultimately, if your thought process has not lead to a complete, unadulterated commitment of yes, which produces certain behaviors such as love, passion, forthrightness, and consistency….then look your Beyonce Demon smooth in the face and tell her NO…WHEN I LOVE IT, THEN I WILL PUT A RING ON IT; and if she can’t handle that, her loss. Hope this helps.

Caesar